Why Didn’t We Try This Truth Telling Thing 20 Years Ago?

Claire and I are having a ball on our girl’s weekend. The boys are traveling together and we are doing everything girlie. We went for pedicures yesterday afternoon and then came home to pizza, ice cream sundaes and a movie. We looked through the list of movies and finally settled on “You Again” with Jamie Lee Curtis, Kristen Bell, Sigourney Weaver, Betty White with a whole cast of all stars.

What a fun movie it was ~ perfect for the two of us. The movie was about bringing high school “arch-nemeses” back together years after high school. All of the female characters had to confront their pasts from high school beginning with Kristen Bell’s character, Marni. Her nemesis, Johanna, was engaged to marry Marni’s older brother. Marni and Johanna both had to confront their ugly times high school. The movie went on to showcase Jamie Lee Curtis’ character, Gail, and her nemesis, Ramona, played by Sigourney Weaver. The antics that ensued during the movie were fun, witty and I have to say just a little touching. My favorite part was at the end when Gail and Ramona brought their decades long “feud” to an end. Both characters told what happened in their friendship to bring it to an end in high school. The actresses brought life to both of their characters and you could feel the pining from both of them in their desire to reconcile their friendship. Jamie Lee’s character said “Why didn’t we try this truth telling 20 years ago?”

That line got me to thinking ~ why don’t we work harder in our lives and friendships to tell the truth? Why do we put so much effort into casting webs of lies? I’m not talking about flat out lies and deception. I’m talking about being truthful in our relationships. We put so much effort into saying “nothing’s wrong,” when there is something wrong. Why can’t we just say “my feeling are hurt, or I’m mad or I’m sad”? What’s wrong with telling the truth?

Wouldn’t life be so much easier if we could resolve conflicts before it became a huge mess, all blown out of proportion and not fixable? What’s wrong with going to someone and letting them know, in a kind way, what the heck is wrong? Why don’t we encourage each other to seek out and find the truth rather than burying our heads in the sand, pretending nothing is wrong? And why is OK to let an issue go and go and go without any resolution?

I really want to teach my children to tell the truth in their relationships and friendships. I want them to learn not to play games with others and their emotions, especially friends and family. I think it just sucks so many good friendships and family relationships are ruined because truth telling seems too hard.

Oh, for the love of my children…

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