Do you remember a time when there was actually a dividing line between what adults got to have or do and what kids got to have or do? I remember very distinctly being told I couldn’t have or do something because it was a privilege for grown ups and grown ups alone. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t wait to be a grown up…to have all of the privileges of being a grown up.
Now kids believe, and are taught by us, that all of the rights and privileges we earned are theirs by default. And to a large degree, our generation (or at least quite a few of the parents in our area), have done nothing to dispel this myth ~ that’s what it should be…a myth.
So my darling, 15 year old son thinks he’s going to get my iPhone when it’s time for me to upgrade. REALLY? And just who’s gonna pay for the data plan? Not us! Zach is welcome to have my old iPhone, provided I ever give it up, but it’s going to be used as an iPod not an iPhone unless there is some way he can come up with to pay for the data plan on his own ~ but even then I’m not sure I’d let him have an iPhone…there’s no reason for him to have it, other than, and in his words, “ALL of my friends have iPhone or a Droid.” Big whoop!! I’m not impressed!
What do these kids have to look forward to as they grow up if we give them all of the rights and privileges we enjoy as adults. Zach has a friend, who for his 16th birthday (as a sophomore) was given a BMW…REALLY!?!?! WHY?!!? I learned how to drive in a 1971 Chevy Impala…not a sexy car by any stretch of the imagination ~ let me tell ya’! Not having the biggest, the brightest and the best from the get go is not always a bad thing. And I can tell you, my kids won’t have the biggest, the brightest or the best from the beginning. What’s to look forward to in leaving the nest if kids are given everything their heart desires? Nothing! What does it teach our kids to give them top notch this and top notch that, rather than make them work for it? Nothing. What’s the incentive to grow up and experience grown up privileges if they aren’t earned? There’s no incentive.
So, for the love of my children they will have to earn their adult privileges either by working for them or waiting until they are adults.