The Shizzard

Yep, that’s right…I said SHIZZARD.  It’s not a nice word or a pretty thought that accompanies the mention of the word but it fits the situation to a T.

Let me set the stage…yesterday was a day I desperately needed…a day to regroup and reorganize.  I worked with Claire on a couple of daunting closet reorganizations that were begging for my attention.  In between our organizing, Claire and I managed to keep baby Bella on the straight and narrow as far as puppy house breaking goes.We made sure to keep a close eye on her and get her outside when the signals presented themselves.  We did a good job yesterday. I was happy to admit to myself as I walked down the stairs this morning, it was Bella’s first accident free day in our house.

“WHOA….not fast on the self-congratulations,” my nose roared at me as I rounded the corner into the TV room where Bella’s kennel is.  The overwhelming stench of dog shit greeted me like several slaps in the face…bap, Bap, BAP!  I walked into the TV room to Bella, who was so beyond excited to see me.  Her back end was wagging and wagging and wagging…thumping back and forth in the most enormous pile of dog shit inside her kennel.  She was so happy she and her tail created the most enormous Shizzard (shit-blizzard for those of you who were having a hard time translating that word) all over the inside of her kennel.  It made it to nearly every nook and cranny inside her kennel.  All I could think was HOLY SHIT (yes, pun intended)!  
It was just a little before 7 in the morning and my brain was having a little bit of a hard time collecting a thought.  I hadn’t been caffeinated at all and I knew my first order of business is now to scrub Bella from head to back end.  My brain was so disconnected I made the error of letting Bella out of her shizzard so I could get her outside.  In retrospect, and after being told by Stan, I should have just dragged the entire kennel outside with Bella inside.  But I didn’t, so the shizzard continued in the house and onto me.  Bella, who never jumps up, decided to greet me with her fecal stained paws planted firmly on my bathrobe…repeatedly.  I managed to get her leash on to wrestle her outside as she tried to rub her poopy ears into my robe and my hands so I could properly pet her.  I ran back inside grabbed a shampoo bottle and headed back outside to scrub all of Bella’s own nooks and crannies.  All I could think is BLECH and YUCK.  (But, if you all remember from blogs past my area is vomit and diarrhea and Stan takes care of injuries…well, THIS was definitely my area).  I managed to scrub Bella clean before the clock hit 7:30.  
I still have the smell in the house and the kennel to take care of.  Oh, and did I mention the air conditioner guy was coming at 8 to fix our broken upstairs unit?  So he would get to walk into our house smelling like a shizzard.  Great…I think to myself ~ just wonderful.  I can’t wait for him to come into our house now.  
Luckily, I turned Bella from “Shizzard Girl” to something akin to Coconut Puppy.  I found my powerful orange air freshener and sprayed the house liberally with the smell of freshly peeled oranges.  Our house was beginning to smell a little like the tropics mixed with a hint of fresh dog shit mixed in ~ nice!  The AC guy should love that.   
Stan got treated to the smell of the house before I started my air-freshening campaign.  He was greeted with the same lovely smell I was when I came downstairs but he missed the dog shit covered puppy.  He was greeted with clean, hyper puppy who fresh out of her bath.  
I couldn’t even be a little, tiny bit mad this morning.  I knew I took her out at 10:30 last night.  I knew she evacuated all of her systems in that little night-time excursion but I also knew I introduced a new kind of treat to her yesterday, after the vet gave her a puppy cookie and on top of her vaccinations.  Her tummy was wobbly from all of the new treats and the trip to the vet and it showed up in her kennel.  So, my newest “baby” had her first big upset at home.  I know there will be more to come, which is why we steered clear of puppies for so long.  But you know what?  I still wouldn’t trade her in.  She’s a part of our family now and you take the good with the bad when it comes to family and kids.  And sometimes in living life with kiddos, the two legged and the four legged,  you get handed you a big ol’ shizzard.
Oh, for the love of my children…

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