A few days ago I stumbled across an article written by Martha MacCallum. (In can you don’t know who she is, she’s a news anchor for Foxnews… but let’s not get into the great Fauxnews v. Foxnews thing, let’s just focus on the article she wrote). In her blog/opinion piece she told how she had read an article in the British version of Country Living on what it took to be a lady in our era. The British version, she said, was far too British for it to be applicable to our young women, so she decided to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), and she wrote What makes someone a lady in 2016 ~ wondering even if our young women aspired to be lady-like. I had Claire read the article, and I passed it along to friends. It was spot on. Especially number 3. Read it. You’ll enjoy it.
Her list got me to thinking…what about our boys? I think we need to usher in a new era of Gentlemanliness. You know…a Colin Firth type of gentleman who is a kinder, gentler version of the rough and tumble boys who grace our lives.
I’ve always believed a man should be a gentleman. I stopped dating a guy because he didn’t open my car door for me when we went on dates. Superficial? Maybe. But that was a deal breaker for me at the start of any relationship. If he didn’t care enough to try and impress me in the beginning, how was he going to treat me when things got comfortable? So I dumped him and moved on to greener pastures, and a sweet Jersey boy named Stan who stole my heart.
Let’s get on with my list of what I think it takes to be a gentleman in 2016.
1. Opens doors for others, women, men, children. It doesn’t matter who. It matters that he does it.
2. Helps a lady with her jacket.
3. Treats strangers with respect.
4. Treats his love with even more respect.
5. Knows his strength is to be used to keep the weaker ones safe and doesn’t uses it to intimidate, belittle or harm those he is supposed to protect.
6. Knows that being weak is sometimes the strongest course.
7. Knows “I love you” isn’t a pick up line.
8.Knows how to drink from a china teacup with a saucer.
9. Is always the first one to say, “After you.”
10. Makes it a point to listen when someone else is talking.
11. Offers his seat when he’s able.
12. Gives sincere compliments.
13. Can carry on a conversation with women, and not with neanderthalish grunts and groans.
14. Is punctual.
15. Showers regularly and uses deodorant.
16. Is not afraid to show his softer side.
17. Knows how important “Please” and “Thank You” are.
18. Can say, “I’m sorry” when he’s wrong.
19. Knows how to cook at least three good meals. (When Stan and I first started dating, he invited me over to his apartment for dinner. He cooked stuffed shells for me. He told me much later he did it to impress me. It worked ~ that date was almost 25 years ago.)
20. Can dress to impress when he needs to…shirt tucked in, belt on, hair combed and smelly-good stuff is always welcome (as long as it’s not over-powering and he doesn’t smell like he bathed in his cologne).
21. Uses a tissue or a handkerchief. Farmers’ blows and public nose pickings are gross.
So, my darlings, I wrote these for rules for gentlemanliness, and for the love of all of my children…
Do you think I missed any?