OK, so I’ve been off for a while…literally and figuratively.  For a week I was off in Ireland and then for the following week I was just “off.”  I had (and have) so much muck swirling and whirling in my brain that I couldn’t get it out.  I couldn’t force myself to figure out what to say and how to say.  I may go into the “muck” of the matter later but right now I’m just glad my creative juices are flowing again.  Over the next few days, I may have three or four smaller blogs just to get back into the swing of things ~ just to test the waters and let the floodgates trickle out what’s been stored up in my brain for the past two weeks.

The opening of the floodgates all started yesterday…

Yesterday, I was at Kroger all by myself.  All of my boys were off fishing for the day.  They left at seven o’clock yesterday morning. I had no idea when to expect them back.  I had just dropped Claire at dance for her four and half hour practice so I did what any sane mama with hours of free time would do ~ I headed to the grocery store to stock up for the week.  (Yeah, like any sane mama wants to head for Kroger when she has spare hours to herself…but I never claimed I was sane.)

I walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store with purpose but not with a frenzied pace.  I didn’t need to hurry, I had no one with me to bug me for this or that.  There was no one there with me to secretly pop things into the cart so I didn’t need to keep the cart in near constant motion.  Although I didn’t hurry, I didn’t dilly dally either.  I wanted to get home and get on with something for me, something I wanted to do, so I finished my task at hand and went to the checkout counter.  I got my things bagged up, paid for and I headed out.

As I was walking out I got caught behind a young mother who had (what looked to be) her four year old daughter strapped in the seat of the cart.  The bagger was walking not too far behind chatting with a woman I assumed with the mother of the young mother.  They were parked right next to me and as I put my things in the back of the TRVLN ZU the bagger loaded their groceries into the back of their car.  The woman I assumed I was the grandmother asked me “How come it is you look so calm and collected?”  I responded with a broad grin “Because my three kids are off someplace else.”  As I stepped into my the driver’s seat I put the windows down and I could hear the grandmother telling the young mom about our brief exchange and then I heard the young mother say “UGH, God help me if I ever have three kids,” and I have to say, I got a little offended.  Yes, I was happy to have some time off without my kiddos, for a little while, but I was looking forward to seeing their bright, shining faces when they all reappeared in the house.  They are not some big massive, burden (well, not all the time anyway) and I thoroughly enjoy each and every one of them…always ~ even when I’m exasperated I can still feel a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth because of them.

I guess, once I became a mom of more than two I joined some strange club where it seemed like it was OK for the morons out there to make comments to me for having to play zone defense instead of parent to kid coverage.  Shortly after Claire was born, I was walking up and down the aisles of Kroger (go figure this all goes down at the grocery store).  I had Claire in the Baby Bjorn, Lucas was strapped in the seat of the cart and Zach was on the bottom of the cart, belly down pretending to fly through the aisles of the grocery store.  As I was pulling groceries off of the shelf a woman approached me with a strange look on her face.  I assumed it was to croon over a brand new baby (Claire was less than few weeks old) but it was to deliver the first of many insults I have had for having more than the standard 2.2 kids.  She looked me in the eye and said “My GOD, that’s a lot of kids!  Are they all yours??”  At the time I was so stunned I didn’t know what to reply so I stammered out a “Why, yes. Yes,  they are all mine.”  But as I walked away I sooooooo wanted to say, with sarcasm blazing in my voice, “Yes, they are all mine but all three have different fathers so it’s really no big deal. And by the way Lady…mind your own effing business!”  But I didn’t and I guess it’s better that way ~ I didn’t join her in the moron club that day.

Luckily, yesterday my filter remained in place (again!).  I didn’t say a word to the young mother.  It’s not my place.  And anything I said probably would have some off sounding like a lecture from me but hopefully, someday she’ll understand and rein in her comments just a little. But even if she does, I’m sure there will be others out there who will continue on with strange and moronic comments.  The morons will always be out there but I figure if more and more of us are united in staying true to the kindergarten rule of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” it will be better, right??

So this blog turned out to be a little longer than I thought…maybe the floodgates are not going to trickle out my stored up thoughts little by little.  I think they might just fly open and let everything come bursting out….for the love of my children.