A Bit of My New Book

So, as I promised yesterday here is a little, tiny bit of my next book! 


I am sitting in my spot on the red tufted leather couch in our library.  My view is the expansive New York City skyline.  The weather outside looks crisp and clear.  Christmas is in the air.  I can see families on the other side of my windows decorating and preparing for the holiday as I sit and watch the world go on without me.  My legs are stretched out on the couch and are covered with the same throw I’ve been using for the past two and a half years.  Rebecca, my nurse, is due any time now.  I’ve been thinking a lot about what she wants me to do.  I don’t know if I can or not.  She wants to bring him here again.  She brought him to me once before.  It was an ugly time two years ago.  Not that now is much better but with Rebecca’s help I’ve healed a little.  She’s been a godsend to me, the only one who could have ever helped me and Peter doesn’t suspect a thing.  
She and I met in the rehab center where we were both patients.  Both Peter and my parents watched her as she would talk to me and try to work with me along with the multitude of doctors, nurse and therapists.  They all saw she was the only person who could calm me when everyone else failed.  My parents thought she was a miracle worker when it came to me.  When she was near, I was calm.  Peter.  He knew he needed help caring for me.  He knew I was going to be released soon.  He knew he needed a strong case for taking me home to our penthouse in the sky.  Peter realized my parents never would have agreed to a group home for me, which is precisely where he wanted me to go.  He didn’t really want to bring me home.  He told me so one day when no one else was listening and he thought I was sleeping.  He wanted me to just leave, to disappear.  But that wasn’t to be, I heard him mutter under his breath.  My parents told Peter they wanted to take me back to my childhood home.  I listened to them plead their case to Peter, but he needed me home, he told them.  He needed to be the one to care for me.  He told them he felt responsible for my accident.  He should have been there with me, he said.  He should never have let me drive out to our house in the Hamptons alone.  I watched the single tear slip down  his cheek and I knew.  I was going home with Peter.  He sold my parents hook, line and sinker with his story.  Their love for Peter grew the day he told them he hired Rebecca to take care of me.
If only they knew.  The truth is locked inside of me.  Waiting.
I think back on the day I was released from the rehab center.  It’s been well over two years. The physical pain of moving me here was nothing compared to the agonizing mental pain I was about to under go.  When I was in the rehab center, my life, my focus was trying to heal my body and relearn skills.  The fire stole so much from me.  But I didn’t realize how much it stole from me until I came home and my world became confined to these walls and three faces.
Peter.  My husband and my warden.  I remain locked away like Rapunzel, Princess Fiona or, the worst thought of all, Anne Boleyn.  Will he kill me if he finds out what I know?  I move quietly and slowly because I can’t risk him finding out about me.  
Lucretia. Our house keeper and my jailer.  She watches everything while Peter is gone.  What she doesn’t know is that I do all my work at night when she is not here.  But I have to be careful.  Her reach is far and wide.  And my fear is palpable when she is around.
Rebecca.  My protector.  She is the only one who is working to help me heal.  But I have to be careful.  I don’t want her to get hurt, to get tangled up in what I know.  I feel like need to protect her too.  
So much has changed, yet so much has remained the same.  I sit in the same spot, day after day while Rebecca comes and goes, always making sure I’m taken care of.  She is my protector but she doesn’t know what I do while she is not here.  Luckily for me nobody does.  But that is about to change.  My day is coming and it’s almost time to start telling my secrets.  
Rebecca.  I start to think about her and all she’s done for me.  It’s been a long, painful two years for both of us together.  We’ve known each other for four years now, but I’m just starting to let my guard down more and more with her. She has almost earned her way in.  There is no way she would have stayed with me for two years if she wasn’t there to help me.  But I still don’t think it’s safe to tell her everything yet.  I think she suspects a lot of bad things lurking in the background and she wants it all to come out.  It will.  It’s almost time for all of our work to pay off.  
As I think about what she wants me to do my mind drifts to her story.  Rebecca was an Army nurse who wounded in Afghanistan.  She was tending to a soldier when she was shot in the head by a Taliban sniper.  Her wounds were tended to quickly and she was airlifted out of combat and back to the civilian world.  She worked for years to overcome her disabilities and her fears.  Her insight into my reality has been the only thing that has kept me on this side of sanity.  She knows how debilitating panic, terrifying thoughts and self-loathing can be.  She has worked with me quietly to make sure Peter still thinks I’m still mentally unstable.  She told me one day that Peter also thinks she’s unstable. She heard him telling someone on the phone that her instability is why he lets her stay.  She’s done a good job of making him believe both of us are too mentally damaged to be of help to one another.  His belief in our deception keeps him away from me and keeps both of us safe.
What he doesn’t know is that we’ve been working together to heal.  

And now I ask a favor of you all…if you read The Point of No Return and enjoyed the story would you all be so kind to head over to The Point of No Return on Amazon and leave a review for me? I would be forever in your debt! Reviews are one of the ways my book can be found and grow. The more reviews I have the more views I can get to help other’s find out about my book! THANK YOU and ENJOY!!!I hope you enjoyed these two little, very raw, pieces from my next book.  Please let me know what you think!  I can’t thank you all enough for your support and encouragement!!!  

This whole ride is a total blast and Stan and my kids are my biggest cheerleaders (even though the kids aren’t allowed to read my book).  So I’ll keep cruising along for myself and the love of my children….

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