The Last of the Firsts and the Firsts of the Firsts

This past weekend we had a houseguest.  Zach’s friend didn’t want to go away for his last weekend of his high school years so the boys asked us if he could stay here.  I agreed with nary a thought of turning them down.  I had already figured it out that it was the last of their summer weekends with their high school buddies.

That was one last of the lasts, but now I’m looking at the last of the firsts.  They are flying at me fast and furious.

Last night was the last night before the first day of school where all three of my kiddos will be with me.  This morning was the last first day of school where I’ll be making three breakfasts and three lunches.  This morning was the last first day of school where I need to listen for the shower to be turned on letting me know Zach is up and ready to head my way.  Today was my last first day of school with Zach.  Today was a last of many firsts and I can tell you unequivocally that I don’t like it, not one little

I realize the last of firsts happen, but I didn’t really think about the firsts of the firsts…

Zach didn’t eat his last dinner with us before the first day of school, which was a first.  We played Willie’s Nelson’s, “The Party’s Over” without Zach here for the first time.  Last night, for the first time Zach and Lucas hugged me as tears streamed down my cheeks thinking about the last of the firsts.  I couldn’t seem to stem the flow of tears as the boys encircled me, promising me it was going to be OK ~ that this growing up thing would work out just fine.  I tucked my head under Zach’s chin and just let them hug me.  I know this growing up thing is part of life, but I don’t really like these firsts of the firsts, so I’ll move on…

This morning, for the first time ever, Zach drove his sister to school so she could catch her bus to her school.  This morning for the first time Lucas, as a brand new freshman in high school, was the last to leave for school.  And this year for the first time in a long time all three will come home at the same time.

I posted a comment on Facebook yesterday about school starting, the race to Zach’s graduation day beginning and how I was tearing up just thinking about it.  I was lucky enough to receive some sage words of wisdom from a sweet friend.  She said, “Tearing up is a good thing.  It means you have a wonderful relationship with your son!  Repeat after me – ‘I am more excited for my son than sad for myself.’  If you start now and repeat this daily it may sink in by graduation.”

So I will sit back and enjoy every minute I can of this year.  I know the tears will flow.  I know I’ll be sad but I’ll also work on remembering that this is Zach’s senior year.  He doesn’t need to see me weepy all the time.  He needs to know I’m proud of him as he celebrates the lasts of his some of his firsts.  And I am excited for him as he begins to forge some new paths with some firsts of firsts for him heading into young adulthood.  

Oh, for the love of my children….

2 thoughts on “The Last of the Firsts and the Firsts of the Firsts

  1. Today I had my first day of school without my boys attending since 1998. We always hit Panera on the way in for the first day and today my bill was significantly lower. It is odd not to have one of them there in the building with me but I actually enjoyed not having to coax them out of bed and hurry them along. Just another time and season to enjoy!


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