I Wish

Dear Darlings,

The dreariness of the past weeks has sapped nearly every ounce of energy I’m trying so desperately to  keep in my clutches. My blog is suffering at the hands of this gray, dull weather. My brain power has dimmed, new ideas are few and far between. So today, I went looking for the lazy writers way out of this dearth of material, and I did what every writer in the history of writers has done (okay maybe not every writer, but a few…well, maybe it’s just me). I went back to old material to see what I could spruce up and maybe make new. In doing this little exercise I went back to blogs that were mere shells, pieces that were half-written and then abandoned for newer, fresher, more relevant material ~ or at least what I thought was more relevant material.

And I have to say I wish I would have finished those old, discarded entries. I wish I knew what my brain was thinking ~ where we truly were at that point in our life together. Recently an old friend told me I was leaving a great legacy for my family by putting our life story to words. Legacy may be a bit of a stretch, but I do think I’m giving them a chance to peek back on our family, and offering them the chance to see why I made some of the parenting choices I did. They’ll also get to read about my avalanche of parental mistakes, the intense, over-the-moon love I have for them (even when I’m mad), and how being their mom is my biggest wish come true. Hopefully, they’ll feel the emotions I had bubbling inside of me as I wrote, that they’ll know how intense and crazy and zany this life with them was and still is. I want this blog, this chronicle of our life, to be as much of a gift to them as it’s been to me. Being able to look back, to really go back to that small snap-shot of a moment, is like a security blanket for me. And today, I wish I had all of the pieces of it.

So my darlings, don’t wish. Finish.


Oh, for the love of my children…

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