Yesterday into this morning my head and heart were swirling with emotions I was having a hard time putting a finger on. Today I realized what those feelings were. Fear, anger and sadness. All rolled into one.
Most of you, who are regular readers, know I am a survivor. #Metoo is a huge part of who I am. I fought tooth and nail to find the courage to share my story and overcome this life trauma.
So I know. I know how terrifying it is to allow someone to hear your story, to say the words out loud. I know the depths of despair and the feeling of worthlessness because of the shame of being sexually attacked and abused. I feel intense anger, bordering on rage, at those who don’t believe survivors of sexual assault.
But yesterday into today those feelings were directly associated with all of the wonderful men in my life. I am scared, angry and sad for Stan, Zach, Lucas and all of the other fine, upstanding men who grace my life. Right now, in our world, an allegation can ruin these men who work hard to be good, honorable citizens. These are the men whose lives we share, the men we raised to be the kind of men we want for our daughters. Right now, an allegation ~ just one ~ is all it takes. No substantiation, no proof. Just an allegation, can bring down these men we know and love.
It seems due process has fled the building.
Trust me, there is no one on the face of the earth who doesn’t want to see sexual predators pay for their crimes more than I do. If the MF-er who broke into my apartment was ever found, I’d want his ass nailed to a wall. But I’d want it to be done in a court of law, not in the court of public opinion. Having it tried in a court of public opinion isn’t fair, especially not to me. I want my say in court, in front of a judge and a jury of my peers. I want to point my finger at his sorry self and tell the judge who is presiding over the trial who the guilty party is. Every person in the United States should want it to be done like this, because it’s the way we’re supposed to do things here.
Vigilantism should have no place in this society of ours.
I’m glad Dr. Ford had the courage to tell her story. It deserves to be heard and vetted. I’m glad the senate moved forward with the nomination while the FBI investigates. Everyone deserves to have their story processed.
I’m glad vigilantism has been averted, for now.
For the love of all of the sweet, kind, loving men who are part of my life.